If you know me, you know one thing missing in my kitchen is knives. Maybe, it is an irrational fear I have. Watching those Ginseng knife commercials with the knife slicing through the can. Well, geez, I don’t want to cut my arm off. Then those stupid Freddie Kruger type movies. Imagine Freddie busts into my house one night…he says “DARN” (he says it really scary), I forgot to bring a knife. In my drawer he is going to find some weird potato peeler, a dull paring knife, a an assortment of steak knives (don’t you feel safer already?). BUT if I had the chef’s set of knives he would be deciding between the meat cleaver or butcher’s knife. Of course it would be a pretty funny movie if he were trying to off someone with a pizza cutter (that’s what would happen if they were making the movie at my place).
Anyway, I had to use a bread knife that Miechelle (stop it spell check, I am pretty sure that is how she spells her name) left behind at my house. One carefully buried in a drawer…so that I would feel safer.
My slice came out bigger than I wanted. So, I was forced to eat this huge piece of watermelon. Now I feel like a human water balloon. If you dropped me off the top of my house, more than likely I would explode. Which is how knifeless Freddie would probably have to kill me. Yes, Freddie and I, masters of improvisation.