HGTV

I have decided all the competent handymen have shows on HGTV.  I watch those shows where home miracles are performed.  I come to believe home improvement and home repairs are within my grasp. One day I realize snagging an amazing handyman is as likely as dating a Hollywood movie star. What I need to do is get on one of those shows. Is it possible that they would have a show featuring HAC guys?  The show could be called Air Conditioning Impossible.  I volunteer to be on the first episode.  Here is the drama leading up to my rescue by the larger than life HGTV celebrities with solutions to all your housing problems.

After creating questionable pathways to the crawlspace of my house.  I finally get two local heat and air guys to come over.  I took off two days to be there while the work was being done.  I am fantasizing about cool air wafting from my vents, toasty winter nights. No dice. The guys came, they said it would be super expensive, if they would even do it.  I call the company later that day hoping for some positive feedback.  I am a pariah.  An office with only 3 employees has no idea as to the whereabouts of the others.

SO in a act of desperation I call the heat and air company that I have worked with forever.  I ask where I am at on the waiting list .  They explain there have just been so many heat and air emergencies…other more desperate individuals than me that have taken precedence.  I ask, so how long have I been on the waiting list…SINCE APRIL!!!  IT IS JULY!!!!  I pretend to not be offended, that this wait is perfectly normal.  Hey, I am happy to wait, more than happy.   I patiently explain that it is pretty DARN hot here. Heck,  I could host revivals in my house, just imagine eternity in this kind of heat.  Yep, no central air in hell.  My house could be a very effective evangelical tool.  I am shocked the heat and air people show mercy on me and will have someone stop in on Tuesday evening…just to take a look.  I thank God, that somehow the disparaging remark I made about my heat and air provider were somehow not posted on  Angie’s list . Angie’s List a great way to burn bridges.  Maybe, if this last ditch effort doesn’t work out I could look for a competent arsonist on Angie’s List.  Oh, I guess that would be Craig’s List.

ENTER AMAZING HGTV HOME IMPROVEMENT CELEBRITIES EVERYTHING IS CLEVERLY RESOLVED IN 40 minutes!!!!  Life is golden again…all is right with the world.

Back to reality.  I wonder if my boss is going to stop believing next time I take off yet another day to deal with the HAC situation.  He will start looking at me like that employee that has killed off grandma numerous times.  Unemployment would definitely put a damper on my efforts to get things rolling with an HAC guy.

Maybe I will start looking forward to work, a place crawling with HAC guys.  Apparently HAC guys have no problem climbing on roofs.

*sigh*

 

6 thoughts on “HGTV”

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